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Family Dynamics Key Messages

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Marriage dynamics
Marriage is a dynamic environment because whenever people live together and share the same space, interaction and inter-dependence will always produce change and thus friction. It is imperative that one keeps cognisance of this fact and be weary not to be caught unaware. The wise will prepare for this phenomenon and be ready to tackle the challenges when these changes occur.

Enrichment.
The main thrust of Family Dynamix is to enrich marriages by preparing partners with tools to manage, enjoy and maintain their relationships - not to interfere with the daily and natural occurrences. When a couple have the know- how on how to deal effectively with their differences they are able to embrace and celebrate these differences and their relationship will naturally mature earlier than most. Marriage enrichment is about raising the immunity level of your marriage and to heighten its resilience.

Counselling
He that will not be counselled cannot be helped. Furthermore the Bible says that “the wise seek counsel”. Counselling is an independent, non-partisan look at issues that cause or may cause conflict; Counselling will bring objective perspective, and will provide advice to help overcome these issues. This should not be limited to sorting out trouble in marriage, but it should be used to enlighten and promote understanding.

Pre-marital counselling.
No couple should get married without having gone through proper and intensive pre-marital counselling. Nor should any marriage officer officiate any marriage without providing this counsel. If we are going to give couples and better chance at marriage and to reduce the divorce statistics, then the church should take the initiative in this regard.

Legacy.
The true test of a man’s character is not what he inherits from his parents, but what he leaves for his descendents. Whereas an inheritance is what you leave for your descendents, a legacy is what you leave in your descendents. Building a godly legacy for our children is a prime responsibility of each parent. So the important question of “how will this impact my children?” should always be foremost considerations when making a decision.

Accepting differences
Marriage is a collision of two worlds; one has to accept that the prime challenges of marriage is not to change your partner, but to make your difference work for you, because it’s your differences that gives your marriage the unique character. So the challenge is enjoy your marriage, manage your differences and to differ with dignity.

The best is yet to be.
If you start off your relationship by falling in love, you should move to the next level of being in love. This is when you move past the stage where love is emotional and hormonal, but it becomes a lifestyle. This quality of love will weather any storm, and grow. Every married couple needs to understand that their relationship requires constant nurturing, guarding and hard work, whilst simultaneously taking the time to build and cherish precious memories that will carry it through the tougher times. Remember that the road to the Promise land, goes through the desert.

Character of love
The greatest evidence of love is sacrifice. Therefore, you can give without loving, but you could never love without giving. The main motivation for marriage should be to bestow all the love, time and commitment in your heart on a person whom you love dearly. If your life is about yourself, then you are definitely not ready for marriage. Stay single until you die of yourself, and live for someone else.

Expectations
It is imperative that you have realistic expectations and to share them with your spouse. Beware of un-communicated expectation because it leads to unmet expectations, and is a great source of frustration and disappointment in marriage.

The right partner.
Being the right person is more important than meeting the right person. If you don’t know what you want, you will never know when you have it. You can never change your partner to the way you want them to be, so working on yourself is a better option and the rewards are far more fulfilling. The mature and fulfilled person will always attract people of the same calibre. The recipe of marriage has been tested over thousands of years, and it works, but it is the ingredients that often cause the marriage to fail. Immature people will struggle with an immature marriage

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